Buckingham Palace? No, too gaudy.
The Palace of Constantine The Great? No, too big.
Behold the new home of the PGA Tour and The Players Championship, all 77,000 square feet of it.
I read the press release on this cozy little spot today and it has some very interesting features.
Walking in the front door you are greeted by stunning 90-foot high waterfall…
…very handy for the tour player needing to wash his hands after accidentally grazing an autograph seeking fan, usually a 12-year old.
Off to the left are a series of lovely rooms perfectly suited for whipping one’s caddie after the series of par putts he missed again today.
Directly opposite the whipping station is The Office of Complaints. This is the largest room on the first floor.
Here representatives from the free car, free watch, free sunglasses and free jewelry for the Mrs. company can handle the dissatisfaction with the low quality products they have so rudely thrust at the golfer.
Frequently heard from this room are comments such as “How did Sergio get that Cadillac? What the f— has he won lately?” to “My kid’s Rolex runs two minutes slow, now fix it or you’re through!”
What must they think of the place we’ve brought the game in this country. What do they think in Scotland and Ireland?
Golf is supposed to be kids on the range, 9-hole leauges after work, and draft beer.
Golf is caddies, or carrying your bag, crappy little clubhouses with great bars, screen doors on the Pro Shop, the hole in it is preferred and earns bonus points.
We are trying to grow the game and make it less elitist?
Right
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