-JOHN HUGGAN
“Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes.” -Dave Marr
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. ~Will Rogers
“My swings so bad it looks like a caveman killing his lunch”–Lee Trevino
They called me more of a shot-maker than Jack because I didn’t have the high ball. I had to hit more weird shots than he did. Heck, they think Tiger Woods can hit a ball high? Jack could hit a 1-iron so high and it would come down so soft you could catch it in your mouth.” –Lee Trevino
“Throughout the history of civilization, there have been syllables of terror handed down from generation to generation. ‘Geronimo,’ for example, could be counted on to empty one fort after another in the old West . . . In the littler world of golf, ‘Hogan’ elicited much the same effect. Nothing could paralyze a field of golfers as much as this whispered collection of syllables. Strong men bogeyed when they heard this dreaded name. Sam Snead once said the only thing he feared on a golf course was lightning…and Hogan.”–Legendary sportswriter Jim Murray on Ben Hogan
Gary McCord and David Feherty On Golf:
On the 14 years since CBS colleague Gary McCord was banned from the Masters: They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding
onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head.’
On McCord’s decision to give up his playing career in favor of a microphone:
‘When CBS came to me and asked me to do on-course commentary, I said, ‘You know,
I’m only 37, I still have hopes of [playing] a little better.’ So they told me what they were going to pay me, and I said, ‘You want to buy a set of clubs?’
On McCord’s giving up alcohol:
‘I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge.’
On McCord’s recent revelation, at the annual JCC Sports Awards banquet in Vancouver, that Tiger Woods’ caddy Steve Williams and Feherty often try to outdo one another on the course in the area of flatulence, Feherty said:
Tiger is no slouch himself: ‘He can lay ‘em down like a crop duster.’
On the poor life advice Michelle Wie’s parents have given the teenage phenom, Feherty had this to say:
‘She could be adopted by Britney Spears and be better off. I want my
16-year-old daughter to have an enormous phone bill, a case of the giggles
and to be pissed off at me for killing her first three boyfriends. I do not
want her out on Tour under that kind of pressure.’
On Phil Mickelson, Feherty had this to say:
‘Phil is brilliant, but he’s nuts. There’s something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see.
His mother told me, ‘Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was four because he kept bumping into things.’ I told her, ‘Mary, Mary, I’m a writer, you can’t keep handing me material like this.’ So the next time I saw Phil I said, ‘You didn’t really wear a football helmet in the house until you were four, did you?’ He said, ‘It was more like five.’ ‘
On Tiger Woods, Feherty had this to say:
The first time he ever watched Woods play, Feherty examined the lie Tiger had in the trees, where he’d hit the ball into deep rough alongside a large root, and said on-air that the only available play was to wedge out sideways. Tiger promptly hit a towering 200-plus-yard, sweeping slice with a 2-iron that rolled to within 12 feet of the flag. ‘I just
stood there watching him walk past,’ Feherty said, ‘and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’
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